A reflection

I embarked on this thing and journey called marriage came with much fear in my little heart. A couple of wise people along the way shared some really important pieces of wisdom and these words-nuggets of fresh air really-have reverberated in my being.

“Life is better together. Sure, when one or the other of you is away, you feel a sort of freedom to be and do the things you want to do the ways you want to do them. But it’s still better together.”

“My husband is my best friend. I love talking to him and telling him about my day. I love just getting to sit and talk and share. It is probably my favorite thing to do with him.”

“It’s worth it.”

“My husband and I are still trying to figure out what spiritual practices we do together. We are now praying together on Saturday mornings but it has taken years to figure out how we connect in this way.”

These words along with the words of Jesus, like: “Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, and love keeps no record of wrong...” or like “Be slow to anger…” have provided a pathway to learning how to live in relationship. Along with these words, Dave and I have disciplined ourselves to play together over the last year of life. Disciplined to play, you may ask? Yes. You see, it became apparent after the love drugs wore off that we were quite different sorts of birds. Simply put, if left to our own devices, we would choose to recreate and play in very different ways. So we have created space in our life together to play together.
Some of our favorite memories include but definitely aren’t limited to: throwing a single mattress in the back of Dave’s truck and watching a movie at the drive-in, taking a random trip to out of town and stopped to stay overnight at a cheap hotel, going to see movies one or the other of us is excited to see together, cooking dinner together, going to a bed and breakfast in Indiana, watching the Lord of the Rings movies, playing basketball together with church folks and driving to watch the most beautiful Kansas sunsets. What a joy! What fun!

Early on in our marriage, we have the opportunity to go and hear a dear friend of Dave’s preach and he encouraged us to play together as a part of our spiritual discipline. What a good piece of advice. These shared play times have created shared memories and laughter for the weeks to follow. Although we have gone through challenging times as well in the first year, I’d be surprised is those would be the things I will remember solely. I’m pretty sure these fun adventures will dominate my reminiscing most often.